Rewind when I stop trying ,when I gave up on me ,rewind again when I received my first criticism from one person that probably changed my whole perspective on how I thought people viewed me ,it was one opinion but eventually changed to an opinion of how everybody looked at me ,I thought everybody viewed me the same way ,so what did I do....I shut down and kept quiet ,and if you knew me or met me the first word that would come to your mind to describe was 'QUIET' but in actual fact I was dying inside.

I walked in town face down as if I was ashamed ,shut my mouth in class as if my lips were sown together and lashed out at home as if they were the ones tormenting me, I was two different personalities ,personalities that I did not even want to be but because of the words they said ,they shoved the confidence out of me and made me feel like a failure even before I tried and In actual fact I did fail ,a couple of times ,I did.

I would walk in a room and blend in with the walls but I thanked the lord for not being noticed than being noticed for the bad reasons and friends ,well let me say I was never part of the 'cool' clan because the words pushed me to that very state where I had to blend in with my kind ,the kind that should never speak to be noticed ,the kind that had to sit and watch the cool girls do it best ,the kind that a guy would feel ashamed to be paired with in class and me also ,I would feel ashamed for him (how stupid was that )

I would never believe you if told me I was beautiful but I would believe you a hundred times if you told me I was ugly ,I would understand if you felt ashamed to walk with me in place packed with people ,even though it hurt I would understand ,parties? Miss little awkward danced in her mind ,not on the dance floor ,not for people to see cause you are a joke , the words! Your words people ,they made me feel like that ,I was a prisoner of your words and someone little girl is probably feeling the same way out the cause of the dirt people say with their mouths...and breaking free? Ask god cause he gave me the courage!
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device